Ever experienced any of these situations?
- someone that you thought would support you, betrayed you so hard it took your breath away
- you gave it everything in a sales conversation and they still said, “no we don’t want it”
- you were blanked by someone at a networking meeting
- your social media post was ignored, criticized or ridiculed
Rejection. OUCH! It really stings and we’ve all been there. It’s an unavoidable part of life and almost certainly a part of a growing business.
My own reaction to professional rejection has ranged from mild disappointment to an intense hurt that ‘destroyed’ me for months.
The worst rejection of all?
Listen up: the worst rejection of all is actually when you react to rejection by rejecting yourself. For example when you make a mistake and you don’t forgive yourself, or when a potential client says no and you suddenly decide that you are hopeless and can’t accomplish your goals after all. The worst face-palm of all is when you stop believing in yourself.
Trust me, you can rise above it all. First, let’s go back to a basic law of human interaction:
YOU are a Rejector too
It helps to remember that choosing to say nope to someone or something is a huge part of all of our everyday lives. We are all bound up in a vast matrix of requests and responses in society. Think about all the times you have rejected something or someone, (however nicely or horribly). Imagine a world where you couldn’t say no to something, where you had to say yes to every request. How weird and scary would that be?
So why not allow others to make their choices just as you allow yourself to make yours? Accept their choice and then move on. There are, hundreds, thousands, millions of people out there who will love what you have to offer.
How to heal rejection-pain
After you’ve recovered from the discomfort of rejection, it really helps to recognise what you can learn from a rejection. In fact, asking yourself what you can learn is a good way to heal rejection pain. After a rejection, ask yourself:
- Is there something I could improve on?
- Is there something I need to understand about other people and their situations?
- Is there something I can be accepting of?
In a business rejection there is always something new to learn.
Now, pick yourself up…
Rejection can really sting. But when you learn from it and pick yourself up, you can then focus on what really matters which is that whatever you offer through your products and services is making a difference to other people’s lives. Keep looking for the people who need it and value the unique approach you bring just by being you.
Top Tips: Recommended reading
These books are fantastic for helping you to get over (or get used to) your fear of rejection:
Rejection-Proof: How I beat fear and became invincible – I LOVED this original true story by Jia Jiang. He shares the story of how he took on some crazy-ass challenges to test his mettle and just reading many of them made me really cringe! It also made me laugh out loud as well as re-think my own fears and boundaries. Also I really like the book cover design.
Daring Greatly – celebrated TED talk star Brene Brown discusses in depth, the power and authenticity of vulnerability. A refreshing message in a world where it can seem like always winning or always putting on a brave face is the only option.
Feel the Fear and do it anyway – an oldie but a total gem by Susan Jeffers about getting way out of your comfort zone and fully living life. Even though it’s a bestseller I am amazed by how many people still haven’t read it. I read it in my twenties and it totally changed my perspective on life.
